February 13, 2018

The Man God has for You Stephan Labossiere

Hey guys!! I read a book the other day and I thought it would be fun to do my first book review!! Also I wanted to say thank you to everyone who is doing the Ruth Bible study with me!! I shared what I learned in Ruth chapter one yesterday and recorded a podcast that went more in detail. I think you all will really enjoy the book and I have already learned so much from it!! Lets review this book!!

I want to start off by saying thank you to the friend who recommended this book to me on Instagram. Just like a few months ago, when God placed Uninvited into my life at just the right time, this book was handed to me by Him through her as well. I love moments like that when God speaks directly to me rather it be through a book or a podcast or even a friend.

The book is called “The Man God Has for You” by Stephan Labossiere. You can tell by the title what its about but thats not what was so profound for me in his message. I learned so much about myself while reading this book. 

Stephans book is on seven traits that are to help us determine the man God has for us.

They are pretty straightforward and solid advice if you ask me. I want to go into each of these but first just re read these and think of the person that God has put in your life right now (or the man you hope to find). Does he fit these? Is there an area he needs work? If you find yourself seeing that he does not line up with one of these traits then maybe thats a sign for you to address the issue and if he doesnt make changes then you should only keep him as a friend. 

Now we as women have plenty to work on and he covers a lot of that in this book which is why I am so glad I found the book in the first place. I needed some of the advice towards my own self that he tells us. The person God gave to me was all of these things listed above but I needed the advice Stephan outlines and we will go over that too.

Lets go into each chapter (trait) and Im going to highlight what I loved most about each. Stephans quotes will be in quotations and I will give you my thoughts on what stood out to me.


On the law of attraction. “Yes, it may come in an unexpected package, and not fit the dynamic or the qualifications other people think you should shoot for, however, what will speak loudest is your joy happiness, positive energy, and desire for your partner. That should be there and attraction is a big part of it.” When God gave me this man I remember looking at his pictures and telling my friends, “Hes just not my type”. Little did I know I would end up being more attracted to him than I would have been to anyone in ANY previous relationship. Not only because hes a total hunk but because of his love for me and Jesus. If I can tell you one thing about “attraction” its that if he loved Jesus it makes him jump at least 4 points on the scale.


This was a very important chapter for me. I learned a lot about myself. In the preface and beginning of the book Stephan tells us as women, we have steps to take to be ready for a relationship. One of those steps for me has been healing from my past. Ive had a ton of rejection I had to get to the bottom of and ask God to heal me and deliver me from it and I believe that He has. Stephan says, ” You will notice healing from your past is a repeated foundation of not only accepting love, but also being able to recognize the man God has for you”. This is very important for you to read and ask God to reveal your “roots” from your past. If you have any. If you do find that He reveals some negative roots then its important that you ask for deliverance from them so you can be living a full and abundant life in Christ. If do not notice roots of your past it can keep you from “recognizing the toxic relationship or person you are dealing with“, Stephan says.

Hes not saying there won’t be arguments but he says that there is a difference between mistakes and real issues. I was having real issues. My root of rejection wasn’t allowing me to be vulnerable to accepting love. I was overthinking and second guessing myself and the relationship out of fear of my past repeating itself. But the beauty of the situation is that I recognized the problem, I asked forgiveness from God and the person, and God delivered me from my root of rejection. Now im not saying I will never again have those thoughts go through my head but what I am saying is that I now know they are coming from the devil and that I have power through God to overcome them. Colossians 1:29 says,”For this purpose also I labor, striving according to His power, which mightily works within me.” There are many verses on how through God we have power. We can do all things through God who strengthens us (Philippians 4:13). Dont let your mistakes become real issues. Allow God to dig up your root so you can be accepting of the love you deserve. 


This chapter was pretty self explanatory. Stephan says, ” God did not make you to be a mans crutch.” Too many ladies are out there trying to fix men (story of my life). We are attracted to the broken and the weak (because thats the only example of a “man” that we know).  Let me be the first to tell you, I have dated males that needed a good kick in the rear end. They didnt have a mama that taught them how to treat a lady if you know what I mean. But is it their fault that I allowed them to treat me that way? No. But I didnt know my worth, I didnt know how loved I already was by someone who died to know me. Like in the first chapter Stephan says we have to recognize our worth so we can decide who is worthy enough of us being a blessing and who is our best fit. Its taken me 28 years to figure this out. I had to be broken down time and time again before this clicked for me. My new goal is to teach young women their worth. To help them navigate through their teenage and college years so that they can not make the same mistakes I did. I believe that is my purpose, to help the broken hearted. We were created to be a blessing to someone, which means we have to be whole in God before we can be that but they must be whole as well. Stephan says,” “When you can testify to what He has done you are able to impact other people and make them say I want what she is having and they will know the only way to get it is through God.” It is so true. The only way you can be as happy as I am even in the midst of trails and learning is through God. People ask me all the time how did you heal so quickly and I tell them every time through God.

Another important thing I have to mention is when Stephan says,“If you have become tired of the dating process stop wasting your time when you date.It is quite simple.Part of the reason you are tired is because you drag out dead end situations with men you should not entertain for so long.” You have to allow yourself to say no to something that is not right for you. Stop entertaining ideas of “what if”. “What if he changes”. You can’t carry a relationship on someones potential. You can remain friends until they are where they need to be then try again. 


Stephan begins this chapter by saying,”Boys always want to play, while men are ready to work.” And if anything is true in a relationship it is this. There will be no games with the man that God has for you. He will be confident in what he says to you. He will not second guess himself. He will know exactly what he wants. He won’t say let just “go with the flow”. Thats a boy trying to have his cake and eat it too. A real man will realize he never had a choice of picking his wife because God already had her chosen for him. He will know. He won’t question it and if he does he will be smart enough to keep it to himself because he knows that is the devil trying to get him away from Gods will for him. 2 Timothy 1:7 (CSB) says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.” A man of God will know this.

I love this chapter. Theres something about when you meet that person you know you’re meant to spend your life with and its not something I could ever put into words before now. Stephan explains it perfectly, “Having a genuine connection with someone is a special experience. It is like two spirits recognizing their counterpart. This does not happen with most people you meet, which is why a special connection is a strong indicator, and a necessary foundation to recognize that this is the man God sent to you.” It just works. You have moments when you will look at each other and you won’t even need to say anything because you are already thinking the same things. You can be completely youself  and they will love you and he can be completely himself and you’ll not only like it but you will love it. Thats because even before you were in the womb God wrote your story. This person is part of your story and you have waited however many years it took for God to strategically make your paths cross at just the right time. Thats why you are so comfortable with him and that you can talk for hours and you feel like you’ve known him youre entire life because really, you have. They have been a part of your destiny since before you were born. You can be confident in your relationship because as Stephan says,God gave that to me. I am blessed because I listened to God and my relationship is blessed because I let God guide me to it”. 
You are both human and are going to have struggles. Its going to be hard at times but his foundation must be set on God. He must be actively seeking a daily relationship with God. He must be in Gods word and have a healthy prayer life. These things are not negotiable. You cannot have a successful relationship with a man (as a Christian woman) who does not love God. It won’t work. Its like oil and water. You have to be on the same level of faith for the relationship to work. A lot of scholars call it being “equally yoked”. Google it because its important to understand. I can’t give you all of the answers and neither can this book but I can tell you when you meet a person with the same level of faith as yourself you will be truly happy within the relationship.
Stephen says,”A whole man wants a whole woman” and you better make sure that you are whole before you go into a relationship especially if its one God has sent to you. If you have issues with your past you need to heal from, do it. If you have an addiction you need to rid yourself from, do it. I cannot explain to you how important this is to do BEFORE you get into the relationship. Because just as quick as God gave you the relationship He can and will take it away until you sort yourself out because ultimately what He cares about is your relationship with Him. He wants all of you first so that any man who tries to find you and pursue you will have to go through Him and pursue Him. Its all for the glory of His kingdom even when it comes to our soulmate.
If you find yourself insecure because you know you have things to work on just read this verse in 2 Corinthians 12:9, ” And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness ” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.” This verse will help you understand that where you are weak is where God can make you the strongest. He can change anything and everything about you if He needs to. He will break you just like a wild horse until you surrender to Him but you have to be willing and ASK for it. Reflect on yourself and who you are right now. Ask God to reveal your roots that may be negatively affecting your current relationships. Ask Him for delieverance and watch Him move mountains in your life. God will bless you if you do these things. You will be one step closer to finding the man God has for you and living a life with your partner he had picked for you before you were even born. 
I hope if you liked this blog you will share it with someone that may need to hear what Stephan and I have to say. Also you can buy his book here. Thanks for reading!! xoxo -A



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